I meant to write last week but was actually busy at work and never got around to it. I think it is safe to say that this blog is only active (as in I write almost daily) because work is kind of boring and I have free time there. I certainly don’t give over any of my personal time to write blogs, unless I have something I am excited to write about.
Chances are good that if I ever were not able to write my blog posts at work, I just wouldn’t write them. Which also led me to wonder if perhaps the reasons why I have been so…emotionally unstable as of late is because I actually spend more time contemplating my life these days. I sit here, figuring I’ll write a blog, thinking what to write about, and working through my inner thoughts. Or something will upset me and I will immediately go write about it.
Reading back over some of my old posts it would appear from an outside perspective that I spend all day every day in a kind of roller coaster of emotional turmoil. In actuality I am generally pretty laid back and stress-free, it’s only when I am writing or actively thinking about the issues that upset me in which the emotions rise—to which I pose the question: is my blog writing actually making things worse and not better?
If I am being honest with myself, I do tend towards higher emotions, I just tend to keep them inside. I may freak out and get stressed over certain things, or let certain things upset me more than they should, but when around people I keep it to myself (for the most part). Was I better off before my blog? Before I started digging deep into my feelings and thoughts? Has all this introspection and sharing made things better, or worse?
I will say this: the blog has in its own way helped me with my weight loss. I am 293 today, and I am eager to see that number dip into the 80s for the first time in 3 years. My lowest in over a decade I think is 285, so once I get below that I am in new territory that I haven’t seen since my early years of college. It is mostly due to Nutrisystem kicking it off, then a few crazy attempts at fad diets, followed by simple calorie counting. I’ve lost 15 pounds since counting calories and 45 pounds total since last summer when a doctor told me I was killing myself. 45 pounds a year isn’t amazing, but it is certainly progress. Though I do need improvement when it comes to snacking and eating junk, particularly at D&D/Board Game nights.
And the blog has helped me stay honest. Because I haven’t lied on here, I haven’t made it seem like I am doing better than I am. I’ve been truthful, and candid, I’ve bared all openly, and that has offered me no small amount of reinforcement and belief in myself.
But I think it is time to close the door on a certain chapter of this blog. The chapter concerning my emotional health. I don’t want each post to be about my inner turmoils and my crazy attempts to changing myself for the better. I just want to focus on being a happier, healthier and more creative person, and I believe that constant blogs dwelling on all my negative attributes are not going to help with that.
I am grateful to everyone liked my posts, and everyone who commented and told me to hang in there, that I was doing great, that what I wrote resonated with them. I greatly appreciate it, and I appreciate you, gentle reader.
I started this blog because it was going to document my path to going tiny and living off the grid. Those dreams have changed slightly (only slightly) in that I still plan to build a small house, and I would still like to include some off grid attributes (I may even still go with a compost toilet so I don’t need a septic tank). But I am going to build a house on a foundation on a piece of land. It will still be tiny, 400-500sf, and I still want to build it myself, it just wont be mobile and on wheels.
It will also still be a while before that dream can begin to unfold. I haven’t been paying off my credit card as quickly as I’d like, and I am looking at getting Lasik eye surgery which will set things back a couple months. I still hope to pay off my credit card by the end of this year. Then next year will be spending saving up as much as possible to buy land with at the end of 2018. Then the building will start in 2019, and hopefully by 2020 I’ll be living in my own place. My 3 year plan.
Until building starts—until the end of 2018, beginning of 2019, there wont be much to write about on that front. I will be drawing out my own house plan and I’ll share that when I’ve finalized it and done a few concept sketches. But there wont be much to talk about specifically to building my tiny house until then.
So instead I want to turn towards creativity. I’ve got a novel idea I am working on. I also want to make my own RPG system, and I want to make my own board game. There are also a lot of video games I want to play and books I want to read. So I am thinking of starting a new blog that can encompass all of those things. Book, game, show, movie reviews from my perspective, as well as info on my novel progress, my rpg, my board game progress, and all my other creative ventures.
And when it comes time to start building, I’ll include that too. But Little Dream Adventure doesn’t quite fit for the new take I want to explore. I’ll give it some thought, but my next post may be saying goodbye to Little Dream Adventure (never liked the name anyway) and hello to a new blog. If I do make that move, I hope you all come with me. 🙂