It’s not worth it.

“It’s not worth it.”  That is the title of the Reddit post that grabbed my attention this morning. It’s a pretty simple post with a pretty simple message that I’ve told myself over and over again but never quite let it sink in. I don’t see why today should be any different. Except that it can be, if I want it to be.

The post, for those who don’t care to click on and read it, basically says It’s not worth it to eat that Reeses cup you want. He begins with listing all the painful things about being over weight in an attempt to balance that pain against the momentary pleasure of a Reeses cup.

My list would be similar:

Difficulty getting out of bed
Difficulty using the bathroom
Pain in my knee
High Blood Pressure
Getting winded with simple every day things
Not being able to find clothes in my size
Chair arms cutting into my legs
Seatbelts cutting into me

The list could go on. The point is that the good I would feel once all of those pains are gone, once I’ve succeeded in losing weight (not to mention the mental health of not despising myself anymore) outshines the simple temporary pleasure of a Reeses cup. The pleasure I get from eating chocolate and junk food isn’t worth continuing all that pain, and it doesn’t hold a candle to the pleasure I will get from being healthy.

I’ve known this, said it in my own head before. And yet I would still go to the vending machine. Yesterday I still put more cheese on my spaghetti than I should have. Saturday at D&D I ate more than I should have, and ate lots of greasy pizza. I was right on the edge of my calories yesterday but still had popcorn after dinner while watching Once Upon a Time.

It is one thing to tell yourself that these tiny little temporary pleasures aren’t worth it. It’s another to actually believe it, and to also actively think it when the desire for these little pleasures hits you. Today I planned ahead. I brought 3 jell-o cups with my lunch. These Jell-os are 5 calories each and I buy them in bulk at Walmart, but I haven’t been utilizing them.  They are a great snack, they taste good, and if I take my time can last a couple minutes. At only 5 calories I could have 1 an hour if I wanted to and at the end of a 16 hour day have snacked only 80 calories. 16 jell-o cups has less calories than my popcorn, than my hot cocoa, than my carrots!

Work smarter, not harder. Trident gum has less than 5 calories a piece. Chewing gum not only makes my mouth taste minty fresh, but it’s whitening my teeth, and it’s giving me something to snack on that can last me quite a while and can help those cravings that have nothing to do with hunger.

I cheated a bit last night at dinner, but otherwise I didn’t cheat at all. It’s getting easier every day. Today will be a true test, as D&D tends to have junk food. I’ll need to prepare myself. I am making sure I have enough calories to have one of my 750 calorie pizzas for dinner and a 100 calorie bag of popcorn to take to D&D so I have something to snack on.

And I need to remind myself that Reeses cups, mini snickers bars, kraft macaroni and cheese, chips and dip, donuts, cupcakes, and other junkfood that presents itself throughout the day just isn’t worth it.

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