No TV Challenge – Defeat

I believe that the people who are extraordinary at certain things, such as talented musicians, artists, craftsmen, even athletes, are as good as they are because they put so much time and effort and practice into their chosen craft.  Writers write, artists create, musicians play their instruments until they get blisters, until the movements are second-nature, until they are masters. And they do that because they are passionate about it, because it is what they love. Sure, talent plays a large part in it, and I do believe that some people have the talent to be great artists or musicians, and others just do not. But even those with talent will never be real masters if they don’t have the passion to spend more time practicing than doing anything else.

I set myself on this challenge with hopes that I would suddenly be that passionate about my hobbies of sculpting, drawing and writing. I also wanted to convince myself that I could survive without my desktop, that just a little laptop would be all that I would need in my tiny house. I wanted to end this challenge with no desire to park myself in front of the computer/TV for hours on end of staring blankly at a screen, but instead to have the passion and drive to spend all my free time with creative pursuits.

Because I do have talent as a sculptor, as an artist, as a writer. The talent is there, if only I would put in the effort to forge that talent into true skill.  This challenge was meant to try and force me to put forth that effort, to ask myself what I really want to do. I’ll never publish a novel if I never write one.

I did learn a few things about myself. Some I like, and some I don’t.

I learned that I am pretty sure I could easily survive without my PC. The only thing I use it for now that my ipad can’t do is playing ESO, and I’ve learned through the course of this weekend that I can live without ESO. I didn’t have any desire to play it, and though I did get on this weekend, I just got on to update my guilds message of the day, apologizing for my long absences, and to collect my in-game mail. I didn’t actually play the game at all or stay on for more than a few minutes. I played around with the character creator, crafting some cool looking armor, and logged off.

I may continue to play it while I have it and my desktop, but leaving it behind when I move into my tiny house will not be an issue. So I was glad and relieved to know that I can leave my desktop behind and I won’t regret it and I won’t miss it.

But I also learned that while I enjoy sculpting and drawing, and will continue to do both, they aren’t the burning passions they need to be for me to really become a master in them. I cannot force myself to partake of them if I don’t want to.  I am very eager to finish my sculptures for Christmas so I can move on to trying my hand at sculpting D&D miniatures, and for right now that passion burns bright and strong. But that is the way of me, my passions burn so bright and so strong, and then burn themselves out quickly.

I also spent some time this weekend creating a D&D character, and I spent a couple hours just making characters in the Elder Scrolls Online character creator and then deleting them. And that made me realize that creating those kinds of things is what I really enjoy. Sculpting and drawing are just outlets for me to give life to character ideas and concepts.

So while I sadly learned that sculpting and drawing are fun hobbies but not passions, I did learn that world building, character creating, and writing are a passion that I want to pursue more strongly.  I want to be a writer, and I want to create an epic fantasy world, and populated it with my characters, and write a series of books and maybe make a table top RPG to go with it.

So… after the holiday when my time is my own again, I plan to spend my free time sculpting D&D minis if I can, working on the D&D campaign I run on Tuesdays, and focusing on my new ambition and goal – to write a novel.

Despite failing my challenge, I succeeded in learning what I needed to learn about myself. And that’s a big deal.  When it comes time to move to the tiny house, I can say goodbye to my computer.  And sculpting minis, I can say goodbye to a lot of the piles of colored clay I’ve got because I’ll just need Sculpey Firm and paints. I can pare down my art supplies.

🙂

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